Dear Grape
by Lexipedia13
Summary: Nancy writes a letter to her baby, expressing her emotions and allowing her to finally come to terms with her loss. Nancy/Darren. Please Read and Review.


**A/N: Just a short oneshot about Nancy and her feelings. **

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**Dear Grape**

My dearest Grape,

Hello little Grape. Writing 'my dearest Grape' sounds much too formal and grown up, especially as you were only so very small: Grape sized to be exact. I really don't know why I am writing to you. The people in the hospital tell you, you need to allow yourself time to grieve. And I don't think I did. I blocked everyone out and I tried to hide under all my work. I couldn't even cry. Everyone was telling me that it was okay to cry and that I should just 'let it all out'. But I couldn't. Everything hurt, but everything was numb at the same time.

Darren, your Dad, he was brilliant. He looked after Charlie for me when I didn't feel up to it. Charlie would have been an amazing big brother to you. He would have cared for and protected you, and loved you more than anyone else in the world. I am very sorry we didn't have a proper name for you: we still don't. We had lots of different names for you as you grew, the last one being Grape. I still blame myself for what happened. I think I planned too far in advance. I got ahead of myself and I won't do that this time.

I don't think I've told you yet, but I'm having another baby. But don't feel like I've forgotten about you. Your Daddy and I both loved you and we always will. You will always be our Baby Number One. We didn't know if you were a boy or a girl. I know your Daddy would have wanted a little boy to play football with him and Charlie in the park. I wanted a girl. A gorgeous little girl that I could call my own. _My_ little girl to dress up in pretty dresses and go shopping with.

You would have loved your Dad. He is so funny, always joking about. He never takes anything seriously. He's a great father to Charlie and would have been a fantastic one to you as well.

When I first felt the pain, my thoughts sprang to you. I prayed and begged and hoped that you would be alright. I just wanted everything to turn out fine. I wanted somebody, anybody, to hold me close and tell me that everything was going to be okay. I simply wanted to know that you were hanging on tight inside me.

I still dream of you, of what you would have been like, even though you are gone. I am still worried though. What if something goes wrong this time? The doctor said that 'sometimes these things happen' and that 'it could be for a number of reasons', that something probably went wrong. But I don't believe that's true. You were perfect, at least to me.

I don't know if I will ever feel better. They say eventually the pain will fade and it will all be forgotten about. But I don't think I want to forget, because I can't bear to lose you.

Goodbye my perfect angel. I know you would have been a beautiful little human being. I am so sorry I never to got meet you and I think of you every day. But regardless, I want you to know how much your Daddy and I love you. You are the missing piece of our family, and we will never replace you.

I have decided to write an article dedicated to you so I can help other people who have experienced what I have. Perhaps something good can come of this.

All my love, little Grape.

Mummy

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She puts the pen down and folding the letter, places it in the box full of baby clothes and toys. Then replacing the lid, she finally allows herself to cry and mourn her lost child, whose face she will never see.

"Gone but not forgotten, little Grape" she whispers, tears tumbling down her cheeks.

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**A/N: ****I am currently in the mood for writing letters. I posted another a couple of days back, centered around the Riley and Mitzeee relationship. If you enjoyed this one please read my other fics. I really just wanted to capture Nancy's emotions and feelings, whist putting a bit of a brighter spin on things. Please tell me if I have succeeded and also check out my profile so you can see my upcoming stories.**

******Any comments, thoughts, opinions, constructive criticism, just leave me a review.**

******Also, I am now accepting Beta requests if anyone is interested.**


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